Everyone in this house is sleeping and it still early. Clock shows 9.40 something and im the only one who is fully awake. My husband doesnt feel so well since early morning.He got diarrhea and frequently went to toilet  and vommit as well. This was the first time i saw him sick since we married for a year plus.  He went to see doctor this morning and went to work late. Doctor asked him either he want an Mc or not amd he refused. If i became him i definitely took mc and rest at home. Hehehe.
Luckily he didnt get fever and just having minor headache. After dinner he took  some meds given by doctor and went to bed for sleep. My 2months old daughter, Amni went sleep early too. The house totally in silence.

Being a mother and wife is not an easy task. Sometimes i lost my patience. My daughter always crying in the midnight while evryone was sleeping, she's awake. Hubs and me had to sacrifice our sleep as well to taking care of Amni. She will slept the whole day and only woke up for some molk and continued sleep and during midnight everyone has to wake up like her. Alhamdulillah as days passed she slowly could understand between days and night and she seldomly crying as well. She also could smile if we tried to talked to her and seems she understood what i was trying to say to her. Alhamdulillah.

Last week was the first time we took Amni to the Zenith Hotel in Kuantan because there was held a family day of my hubs plant, Petronas Ethylene Polyetehylene and it was my first time too joined their family day program. Unfortunately, we didnt joined the dinner since Amni's mood wasnt good. She was a bit cranky and crying unstoppable. Me and her stayed inside the room while my hubs went to the opposit mall to find out some foods for dinner.

Next month we will travel to Kuala Lumpur and this will be Amni's first travelog story out of Terengganu. Hopefully she will behave along the journey and im a bit nervous too bringing this little one to travel further and longer. But its okay. This is just a preparation for her before join hubs and me to Kashmir next year. If Amni can walk by that time we plan to bring her along and if she cant we have to leave her. Im sorry kid.

Its already 10.30 and my eyes still fresh as well. I wanna share lot of things unfortunately i get no mood to write up. Insyaallah later i will update. Last but not least just a reminder for me and those who came accross reading my humble blog.
"Jangan pernah salahkan takdir, kerana Tuhan itu Maha Mengetahui. Percaya dan terima setiap yg terjadi itu ada hikmahnya"

Good night

Learn to be grateful.
Keep walking slowly and constantly
Everything will be fine
No matter how people let you down
Just believe if all universe keep you up
No one may push you down

Trust in uref
Believe in your dreams
Just go and chase what you want
Just go...

I was talking to my husband regarding what i want to achieve in my future life.
Actually it was more about what i felt regarding my job.
I would like to do something different instead of went to work everyday, did the same thing like treated patients upon their request which were normally scaling, filling, extraction and denture. I felt bored by doing the same thing everyday, repeatedly. I would like to do some other things that general dentist could do like crown, bridge, minor oral surgery and so on. It was my mistake too, rejected an offer last few  months  to be a permament officer in oral maxillofacial surgery department. I did interested to oral surgery but the other part that i tried to avoid was oncall. I didnt want to work other than office hour. I felt a bit regret of my own decision.

Hubs told me that if i would like to pursue my study, then he offered to pay for examinations fee. I need to pass two papers called MJDF Part 1&2 before applied for scholarship and specialty that i interested to. I thought twice about this because one paper cost about 4k and both will cost about 8k. And no matter what i need to struggle and make it pass.

Till now, i didnt know what i want to do. Felt that i lost my life track...

It is Ramadhan 10th already. Time flies so fast. This is the 2nd Ramadhan i celebrate with my husband but this year is a bit different compared to last uear. We've been in a long distance relationship for almost a year since he decided to buy a house nearby to his workplace. Every weekend i will go back to my home if my name wasnt listed as standby officer for oncall. I will have oncall at my own clinic straight for 10days, luckily there wasnt many cases during oncall and gratefully that we, officers only have passive oncall. So just stay at home, relax and wait for the calls. Along 5months i just attended 2 cases because in Gambang there wasnt any cases at all.

Cannot wait for a long cuti raya soon. This Hari Raya also a bit different compared to previous raya because we will have additional member of family. Insyaallah.

Husband m got meeting in Kedah and tomorrow he will return. Usually every weekend he will pick me up here and send me back after he finish work on Sunday. Im grateful enough to have him as my husband. The person who has enough time to spend with me even though we hardly to see each other on weekdays but we still got time to meet up on weekend. It is true that long distance relationship is really hard.

I called mom right after finish work unfortunately she didnt pick up my call and i called dad. He said mom was out with her friend to shop new curtains. Mom looked so excited to celebrate this coming raya and a new family member soon. I rarely talked more than five minutes with dad and usually i will spoke about something really important. Opposite with mom, i could talk to her more than hours gossiping here and there with her. May Allah protect my parents and grant them the highest level of paradise.

Last night i was dreaming of you. How could i forget u? Ive got no idea. U always appeared in my dream every time i try to do so. I accept the reality of our life that we are never ever getting back together. The harder i tried the more failures ive been through.

Im happy with my current life though i know that i will unable to forget a person like u. Im living with a new person, new characters, new physical looking, new love and so on...
may all of us be granted happiness here n hereafter. Aminn

I dont know how many new post i have written and most of the time i didnt publish it. I know no one will come cross to this blog since i stop promote it to the public. My broken english is one of the reason why i lost my confidence to let people know and read every single entry i had posted before.

Yesterday was a mother's day. Most people proudly wrote mother's day wishes to their mom. I do wish to my mom as well and she requested a multifunction vacum after she watched it at cjwowshop. I wondered what modernization has done to my mom. Because she's the only mom i have, of course saying "No" was definitely the right word. She was so happy after i made purchase. Anything for you mom, as long as u are happy.

While im writing this, it already 11.54pm. Tomorrow i need to attend a course at hospital. Every time i went to hospital it reminds me of someone that i unable to forget. The person used to be someone who was so dearly ro me but my fate was written that we will.never be together. I didnt want to bring up the past story of us again since he and me got our own life. Sometime he appeared in my dream thats the reason why forgetting that person really hard for me.

Dont be mistakenly judge me through what i had written. I do love my husband. All is because of the memories we had shared years before. They were too much to be get rid of. Im trying but still some of those beautiful ones really hard to be erased from my mind. I didnt care if the person totally forget me because he has his own life too. And surely he's already move on and trying to build up his life with his loved one. May god bless him always. Never thought our life turned out to be this way. We both settled down with unexpected person of our life. That what we said as "Jodoh".

its getting late already and i need to sleep now. May allah bless my journey in life and hereafter. I do forgive everyone for any wrongdoings to me and i hope i will be forgiven too.. good night